Monday, 27 February 2017

Kick me while I'm down why don't you

You know I told you my brain is all over the place at the moment, well the proof popped through the door the other morning.  A speeding ticket!!!!  The first one I have ever had :(  I do vaguely remember driving through a village, completely stressed mind on other things then realising I was going a bit fast, just my luck that a mobile speed camera was lurking there somewhere.  I am the one who always sticks to the limit, often to the annoyance of drivers behind me, and blow me I'm the one with a flipping fine.  I wasn't going very fast but I was over the limit so fair cop.  Of course I haven't changed the address on my driving license so that's a further complication I don't need.

The bearded one has also been ill for the last week with cold/cough combo which has now driven him to his bed, most unlike him.  I am up and down the stairs with food and drink for both him and my son and trying to stay positive.  I have to admit to shedding a few tears this morning.  My mum has been gone 16 years now but I really wanted to have my mum around to look after me.  I need a brake from being the adult, I just want to revert to being the child for a few hours.

Chickpea xx

Monday, 20 February 2017

The Long Road to Recovery

Our amazing, brave son has undergone major life changing surgery.  After 24 hours on the recovery ward looked after by a lovely nurse he is now back on the general ward starting the long road to recovery.  His strength and determination will get him through this and hopefully he will now have a better quality of life.  We are so very proud of him.

I will keep you updated on him and our new life in the country as much as possible.  Not much to report so far but the solar panels are now on the roof, we are waiting for the poles to the house to be upgraded and for the battery to be fitted.  It will feel so good to be generating our own electricity.  I have also ordered the log burner and am so excited, it even has a tiny oven in the top, ideal for cooking Cornish Pasties :)

I haven't managed to finish all the veg patches but have garlic growing in the one I completed and have potatoes chitting ready to go in.  I have lots of seeds here I'm sure I'm meant to be doing something with but as you can imagine other things have taken priority.  Oh well they will be potted at some stage.  The poly tunnel needs sorting before they can go in anyway, and I need to get some sort of rabbit proof fence sorted.  I'm not intending to open a cafe for rabbits!

I need to find another easy knitting project to take my mind off things, probably another shawl, mindless, repetitive stitching is what is needed at the moment.  Being surrounded by the beauty of nature in our new home also helps sooth the soul during these stressful times.  My mind is all over the place at the moment, I even tried to get out of the hospital car park without paying for the ticket, my brain couldn't comprehend why the barrier wouldn't go up.  Even worse, when I was driving my son to the Emergency Department last week in thick fog I couldn't for the life of me remember how to work the fog lights, now that is bad!

There are half painted walls and half finished projects all over, including a channel dug out of the wall for an electric cable and flaking pink paint in our sons room.  I will warn the nurses that it is a work in progress and the horrible pink walls and carpets everywhere are not our choice.  Our priority now is to keep the house warm and comfortable for him, the titivating can wait.

I hope you are all keeping well my friends, and that life is good to you,

Chickpea xx

Sunday, 15 January 2017

"It's been interesting"

Boxing Day Dawn swim

Going back to work you are greeted by all your colleagues and clients with "how was your Xmas/New Year?"  Of course being British you don't  say "well actually the New Year was pretty crap"  and I'm sure most of them don't really want to know how it was, they are just being polite so I smile and say "it's been interesting" and move on to other subjects.  I will however briefly tell you  lovely readers of the blog that it started well with a good but exhausting Xmas but unfortunately our son became ill between Xmas and the New Year and was admitted to hospital again a few days before New Year and operated on yet again on New Years Day.  He is still staying with us and is still feeling very unwell but trying to stay positive.  There are an awful lot of horrible cold/flu type bugs out there and I'm really worried that he will catch something while he is so vulnerable. It really frustrates me when people insist on coming into work with bugs, they are putting people with compromised immune systems at serious risk.  Please stay home!

We did manage some lovely days over Xmas with all the family staying, long walks and Xmas Day, Boxing Day and New Years Day swims in an icy pool.  Spending our first Xmas in our new home was very different from previous years in some ways but the traditional shared meals and board games were all very familiar.  The first thing we have bought for our home is a lovely large table that we can fit everyone around.  It was made by a local family firm at a very reasonable price and put much needed money into the local economy.  That was our Xmas present to ourselves.  I had a couple of books to read but couldn't concentrate enough to read them, I found myself having to re-read the same lines over and over so eventually set them aside in favour of falling asleep on the sofa exhausted while catching up on box sets of The Good Wife (isn't Julianna Margulies just so beautiful)

I did manage to finish the shawl I started just before we moved.  I could't concentrate enough to do the lace edging so crocheted instead and I'm pleased with the result.  I find knitting very therapeutic during times of stress.

I haven't totally stuck with Veganuary but I would say 99.9% of what I am eating has been vegan.  Where I have come unstuck is the odd ingredients in some of my GF food, usually egg.  I haven't eaten any cheese, (I tried the soya cheese which was very weird), nor milk which I don't miss at all.  I think the only thing I miss are eggs which are an easy snack option.   I haven't had much time to experiment with new recipes, but managed Jack Monroes beetburgers which were easy and tasty.  Considering work has been hectic and I have been caring for our son, cooking omni meals for the bearded one, vegetarian for son and gf/vegan for myself and don't think I have done too bad.  

The kiwi fruit in the polytunnel have at last ripened.  I really didn't think they would and if I had the time was going to cut it all back.  Thankfully I didn't and have harvested a few pounds, they are very small but taste delicious.  I have peeled and frozen them for when I have time to make jam.  Has anyone a good kiwi jam recipe?

Sorry it's been such a long time between posts, I hope you are all well, I have missed you all and will hopefully find time to get back into bogland soon.

Chickpea xx

Saturday, 10 December 2016

I have a safety warning!

Cooking Xmas Dinner should be interesting this year!  I have had my gas disconnected as there was a leak in one of the gas taps on the hob, and a notice is now taped on it warning that it is not to be used.  It is an old model Aga and that part is discontinued, the engineer also turned the electric off and left me with nothing basically, and no solution.  Well thanks for that.  I am now in talks with Aga about the useless lump of metal in my kitchen that they need to sort out one way or another as I cannot afford to buy another.   We turned the electric back on so I can use the ovens, that had a fault as well but it has probably been like that for years, along with the gas leak as the previous owner neglected everything in the house.  My son lent me a single portable induction hob, and I have a microwave so with a lot of planning and prep before hand I will manage.

As if life isn't challenging enough at the moment, I have decided to set myself a challenge and join in with Veganuary  I have been vegan in the past but went back to being vegetarian while trying to get my head around the whole gluten intolerance thing.  I'm looking forward to it......and dreading it in equal measures.  I love vegan food and most of my main meals are vegan, but will miss cooking up a quick omelette when I get home tired and hungry, and cheese and rice cakes are my go-to quick snack.  Eating out is going to be a nightmare, being vegetarian and gluten free is hard enough, I can hear chefs groaning from the kitchen when I explain my dietary needs.   Oh well I won't have any money to eat out in January anyway.  There are some who think I'm completely mad for doing this, but each to their own.  Have any of you taken part in any of the month long challenges,  Stoptober, giving up alcohol, giving up television/social media, buy nothing, daily drawing, doing something nice for a stranger?  There's lots of challenges out there.

My son is still staying with us (along with his dogs) while he recovers.  We are hoping he can get through Xmas without further dramas but his surgeon has said she is on call between Xmas and New Year so just to go into the hospital and see her if he has any concerns.  I don't seem to be able to get into the Xmas spirit at all, but I am like this most years.  There is far too much pressure on people to spend lots of money, have ridiculous amounts of food and have the 'perfect' family Xmas.  Just sharing a meal with our family is enough for me, all the rest is just optional.  What I am really looking forward to is the winter solstice, I am so fed up with dark evenings and can't wait to be able to get out into the garden after work.  I will be celebrating the return of the light by filling the house with candles, all very hygge.

Have a good week everyone,

Chickpea xx

Tuesday, 6 December 2016


First I would like to thank you for all your supportive comments on my last post and apologise for not replying.  It has been a rollercoaster of a week for the family as my son has been back into the hospital again for further surgery.  He is now staying with us again while he recovers, but he really has been through the mill and it is going to take a while before he is fit enough to do much.  The treatment he received was excellent, his surgeon came in first thing Saturday morning to operate on him, the nurses and doctors were very professional but the food and cleanliness of the hospital left much to be desired.  It has been privatised and the firm now responsible for catering and cleaning should be ashamed of themselves.  It has made me even more determined to fight privatisation of the NHS if this is what we can expect.  Overflowing clinical waste bins and out of date food.  Awful.  Thankfully he is here with us now and getting some home cooked food.

When people ask 'if you had one wish what would it be' I would wish for a cure for Crohns Disease, it is such an awful illness. He has been in and out of hospitals since he was 14, and I have to say we are both sick of the sight of the bloody place, but are very grateful for the NHS.  Anyway I'm rambling, and tired so I'm off to make a cuppa before sorting out the next lot of tablets to take up to him.

I hope you are all keeping well, health really is the most precious gift any of us could have.

Chickpea xx

Sunday, 27 November 2016


I'm feeling rather overwhelmed at the moment.  I have been looking at the whole, and it is just too much, way too much for me to deal with, even think about without getting stressed or depressed or freaked out or all of the above.  My expectations of my physical abilities are unrealistic, the time I have to do everything is limited, especially as the daylight hours are so short.  I have been trying to make things work that are just not workable.  As a consequence I feel stuck, both mentally and physically.  So although I can't just click my fingers and come up with solutions, what I can do is try to think of a way to make it all manageable and less overwhelming.

Bear with me here as I try to sort things out in my head by writing it down and breaking it down.  The areas that need to be sorted are

Home renovation
Vegetable garden
Social life.


We have been working on the basics, the drinking water is now safe, the boiler has been serviced, we have an electrician checking and sorting everything at the moment who will then issue a certificate. There are many faults and loose wires hanging out of uncovered sockets, not good when you have young grandchildren.   Most of the lights have been replaced with low energy fittings and bulbs and solar panels and battery will be fitted soon although we have to wait for the poles to the house to be upgraded. This will make us more self sufficient.  The stove has been serviced and will work more efficiently and we are looking into log burners and planting some willow for future fuel.

 I knew I would need to update the bathrooms, fill and paint walls and re carpet but it just hasn't felt like that will make it the house we want.  I have been going over and over it in my head and it just doesn't feel right.  A builder suggested getting in an architect, something we had not even considered.  He was a breath of fresh air, challenging us to throw out all of our preconceptions, climb out of the box and come at it in a totally different way.  The house just doesn't work, it is badly designed.  So instead of patching up and making do, we need to totally rethink the space.  The house came with planning permission and foundations for a two story extension so that was what we were trying to find the money to build.  He made us realise that by totally rearranging the space we already have we do not need to do this.  By moving walls and repurposing areas we will have the space we want.  I know....obvious really but sometimes you are just so stuck in your thinking you need someone else to point out the obvious.  He has advised us to take our time in deciding what we want from the house and how we actually use the space, all good advice. We have been so determined to 'get on with it' but as he said, that's when expensive mistakes happen and you wish you had done things differently.  We have to redo all the bathrooms, so that would be the ideal time to move walls and create more space for the bedrooms.  So we will now take our time to decide what we want.  I may paint some walls to make it feel fresh and clean in the mean time but we can live with the rest of it.  Phew, the pressure of trying to make something work that was never going to work is off.  There will be other pressures, finding the money to do this but at least I can now see a way forward.


This has been an absolute nightmare.  My dreams of a no dig garden have been scuppered by the previous owner using the veg patch to burn rubbish.  I have found glass, plastic, metal including bra wires!!, a battery and lots and lots of screws.  So I have been taking off the top layer of contaminated soil to be replaced with soil that I will be happy to grow our food in.  It is a very large vegetable garden, the same size as the whole of the garden in our last house so it has been overwhelming thinking of all the work that needs to be done to the totally overgrown mess.   I have decided I need to concentrate on one little thing at a time and block out the rest of it as it stresses me out.  So I have created one vegetable bed in a none contaminated part of the garden.  I laid cardboard and over the last few days have been wheelbarrowing compost and manure to cover it.  I will have a go at growing some garlic in a little part and leave the rest to settle ready for the spring.  I'm also going to get some compost into the poly to get a little area ready to plant some winter greens and lettuce.  Little areas, little steps and realistic expectations of my time and physical abilities is the way I can move forward without too much stress.


There are huge changes happening at work and I'm not very happy about the change in direction.  It will be a totally different way of working, instead of being out in the community I will be more office based and I'm not sure this will suit me.  The hours are also changing and will not fit in with home life in some ways.  Although I will not be getting home at 7 o'clock in the evening which is horrible in winter, it means I will have less time during the day for working on the garden etc.  I would love to get a dog and chickens but not sure how this will fit in with my new hours.  Decisions decisions......  I have been looking at giving a home to a retired greyhound but am worried about our cat and as they are sight dogs, that it would head off across the fields after a rabbit as we don't have an enclosed garden.  Any personal experiences from greyhound owners out there would be appreciated.


For all the above reasons I find myself working all the time and having no time for fun.  This has to change but how I'm not sure.  I started typing this a 5.30 this morning, trying to cram as much into my day as possible.  After a melt down yesterday I met up with a friend for a walk on the beach, listening to the waves crashing on the shore as dusk descended was just what I needed to feel better (well that and the hot chocolate and brownie from Swanpool cafe).  I need to build these times into my timetable.  Crafting  and cooking also lift my spirit so need to be included somewhere.   I was very excited to find red cabbage in my seasonal veg box so my first batch of braised red cabbage was made.  It's the little things that bring me joy.

Anyway, that's my life at the moment.   Don't get me wrong I am very grateful for all I have, I just have to manage my time so I can actually enjoy it. It is dark and cold but there is still beauty to be found.   I will keep  you updated on our progress on the house and garden, but don't expect it any time soon.

Chickpea xx

Saturday, 12 November 2016

Permaculture, Activity and Diet Courses

I have been on several courses lately and my brain is frazzled, it's like being back at Uni, trying to take it all in.  I think I lost the plot towards the end.  The Permaculture course was a personal choice, the others mandatory for work.   So what did I learn?  I have been doing 'permaculture' for many years without even knowing it.....well I am an old hippy at heart.  We  had a really enthusiastic tutor full of ideas and energy.  Putting his ideas into practice in his own home.  Compost toilet, rocket stove mass heater, all in his eco hut that he built himself.  I love all of that but there is no way in hell I would pursued the bearded one that we should have a compost toilet.  These things are all wonderful but both of you have to be on board.  He is keen on us having solar panels as they are pretty mainstream now, but as for some of the more way out things, it's not going to happen.  Having grown up on a farm his dad and himself look with amusement at my overgrown veg patch with cardboard scattered around, including in the neighbouring trees as it dries out and peels off.  ' Could do with putting a rotavator over that" they chorus. After growing things in a certain way for decades they do not get the whole 'no till' thinking, but I will persevere.   I do think the permaculture way of thinking is a really good way to approach things, we really need to step gently on the earth......literally.

The Encouraging People to be more Active course was a lot better than I thought it would be, having good tutors makes all the difference.  They were not your usual sporty types who run 50 miles a day and make the rest of us feel like sloths thank goodness.  It is about getting everyone to do something as it helps not only with physical well being but mental wellbeing.  I know I for one feel a lot better after going out for a walk, even if I have moaned and practically had to be dragged out.  I have actually started swimming in the outdoor pool in the evenings, it is painful to start off, it involves a lot of shrieking but once I'm in as long as I keep swimming it is wonderful.  Swimming under the stars and moon is bliss.  Anyway as far as I can remember, people aged between 19 and 64 need to do at least 150 mins exercise a week of moderate intensity, which could be 30 minutes a day for five days, OR 75 minutes vigorous intensive activity spread across the whole week.  Plus muscle strength exercise 2 days a week, which is why I'm swimming in the freezing cold weather!

As for healthy weight, well I already knew I was overweight, ( or too short for my weight) but after being weighed on a body composition analyser  found that my visceral fat level is healthy YESS!!!  I knew there was a thin person inside :)  Your visceral fat is very different from the squidgy fat you can squeeze on the outside.  It wraps itself around your organs and makes you prone to heart disease, diabetes etc.  It is a hidden fat that even if you are thin, can be lurking inside.  I eat healthy food, vegetarian and gluten free,  just much more than I burn off which may account for my results.

I am saddened by the news of Trump winning the election but can't say I'm surprised, after Brexit, nothing surprises me.  Michael Moore who predicted the win months ago warned that people who struggle to put food on the table and roofs over their heads are desperately looking for someone who says he will listen to them and fix everything.  Sadly they will be bitterly disappointed, a bit like the 350 million that was going to the NHS, yeh pigs might fly.  In my opinion he is a thoroughly nasty piece of work who shouldn't be in charge of a car park, let alone a country!

Anyway, enough lecturing! The next post will be on lighter subjects I promise :)  I will leave you with some photos from my week.

The deer spotted on a dawn walk, sadly we haven't seen them for days, I think they were scared off by the huge firework displays going on all around us.... and there was me thinking that living out in the country we would avoid all the fireworks!

Some photos taken at the fabulous Mount Pleasant Eco Park where the  Permaculture course was held, we had the delicious vegan roast for lunch accompanied by the owner on the decks playing reggae in the cafe.

Beautiful sunset, frosty morning and the venue for other training.

Chickpea xx