Thursday 15 October 2015

Doubts are creeping in








Hi all you lovely people, sorry for being such a rubbish blogger at the moment but I'm incredibly busy working on 'the biggie' on my 60 things to do before I'm 60.  That would be the little matter of moving house!  The house has been pimped and preened to within an inch of its life and is now on the market!  EEEEKKKKK!!!  I must say it looks pretty damned good, I don't know why I'm moving!

When the for sale board went up it felt very very real.  We have been here 15 years and it is a much loved happy home, but it is time to move on.  To start the next stage of our lives, whatever that may be. I'm not even sure what I want that to be any more, I'm having doubts.

We haven't actually found any where else to live.........I'm not going to panic.........yet

Do I really want to live in the countryside..........or beside the sea?  I'm tying myself in knots.

Doubts fill my mind, prevent me from sleeping, too many choices, too many decisions.  Such HUGE decisions to be made, and I'm not sure we are exactly on the same page.  Himself sends me 'bling' properties, I send him properties with 'potential'.  I don't mind roughing it for a while, after all we lived in a caravan in his mothers field for three years while we saved up the deposit for our first house.  He says he's too old to be 'camping' out in a building site.  I want fields, he asks who will look after them......  Am I physically up to all the work, I'm still not completely recovered from my operations, will I ever be?

What do I want?  I haven't seen one single property that feels right.  Perhaps this is telling me something.

So what have I learned so far?

Estate agent don't exactly lie but are damned good at leaving out the important information like the extremely busy road right next to the cottage 'in the country'.  The house right next door to the 'secluded cottage'  The very very low ceilings even for me at 5'1" in a house that didn't need any work, mmm yes apart from the roof being taken off and lifted unless you are happy to keep bumping your head.  The VERY bad lane that even my truck had problems getting down.   It is really annoying for us and the seller, and wastes both are time.   A bit more honesty is needed.

 I don't know why I'm so worried about everything being impossibly tidy as none of the houses we have seen so far have been tidy.  I can see beyond that at the potential, but I'm sure it would put some people off.  I'm driving the bearded one mad as every time he puts something down, I put it away somewhere, usually forgetting where I stashed it.

So I am sitting here waiting for that first message saying someone wants to view our home.  It's been on the market one day and I'm already worrying, perhaps I put it on at too high a price.  Well we are not in a hurry as we can't find anywhere to buy so we might as well 'test the market' see I'm getting the lingo.  Our last house sold in two days, it's too much to ask that this happens again.  It's only been one day FFS! calm down.......

I just hate this feeling of being in limbo, not being in control of my destiny.  Not even knowing what I want my destiny to be at the moment.......doubts are creeping in.....

Sorry for the rambling nonsense, I just needed to get it off my chest.

Chickpea xx

40 comments:

  1. It's never an easy process. Even just packing up is an ordeal. Ramble on, you've got a sympathetic audience.

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  2. Oh my lovely, I can totally get where you are at at the moment! It's a hug huge change and with change comes risk, BUT I am a strong believer that if you don't embrace the possibility of risk and change, then what is the point?! The right house will come along. It may not even be the sort of house you were thinking of, but you'll know when you see it. You have done th very best job you can on your own, to maximise the chance of it selling at the best price. I agree, many other houses you see will have been out on the market without so much as a bed being made, but you have done the right thing by what amounts to the biggest investment most of us make in our lives, both financially and, more importantly, emotionally - our home. You will make a new house your home and your new life will unfold accordingly. We plan and plan, but in the end, life has a habit of throwing curve balls and our plans go out of the water. Try not to overthink (says me!!!) and trust. Treat the whole process as an adventure. Perhaps you and hubby could draw up a silly check list for each house that you view to rate it on cleanliness/habitability/stretching the truth etc etc - just to add a little lightness to what is inevitably going to be a stressful time.
    I wish you all the very best and hope to be in a similar predicament next spring/summer, although that is a whole other story!
    Sending you my best, Juliette x

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  3. I know what you are going through we sold our home in 2010 we had been there 17 years, it was hard, but we wanted to do other things, good luck x

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  4. Moving house is stressful at best of times. Maybe you'll be able to relax a little once you had that all important first viewing? I think it is best to keep your option open and look at houses that you both like, and even some that don't fit all the criteria. Better a viewing too many than to miss that gem you are looking for. The house we live in would never have been on my radar and yet I love it very much. Good luck. xx

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  5. Oh what memories your post brings back, I never never want to go through it again, its stressful having strangers come round to inspect your house, I couldnt handle it and would go out and leave hubby with the viewings, the turmoil is natrual its a time of change and moving is a very stressful time, I hope it all goes smoothly for you and you find a buyer and your dream home quickly :-)

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  6. Moving house IS stressful, there's no getting away from that, but there are things you can do to make the process a bit easier. I moved just over a year ago and when I was looking for the perfect house, I had visions of one overlooking the sea, very private, away-from-it-all, sheltered garden just big enough for me and my dog. etc., etc.
    But then common sense took over and my requirements changed; I have had too many birthdays to live in an isolated house by the sea, with no thought to the things I would need as the hears progressed. So I started looking at villages (no towns/cities, thanks!) which had a regular bus service for when I could no longer drive; a thriving shop, maybe a surgery. Then what type of house? With regard to my sometimes complaining knees, a bungalow seemed a good idea. With this new sensible plan, I then was able to select the village, then the bungalow, viewed the area and the bungalow and eventually was able to move to my present home - and although it's a long way from what I thought of in the first place, it's ideal for me.
    So I hope you can sort out what you really NEED, not just WANT for the next stage of your life and plan accordingly. Make lists! Pick the area, look at possible future homes, but most of all, try to relax and enjoy the process. Wishing you all the best xx

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  7. We lived in our first house for 14 years. Our second for 18. And now here - we've been here 3 years already.

    Different stages of our lives, different priorities - each incurred doubts, but in hindsight, each was perfectly timed.

    I believe, if it's meant to be, it will. Trust - in providence, the Lord, or synchronicity...

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  8. Its a HUGE thing to do, moving house, so you're bound to be having these feelings. I think the more viewings you have of other properties, the more you will start to understand what you want and what you don't want (and what will work for both of you). There are properties coming on the market all of the time and I'm sure the right property will come up for you at the right time x

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  9. Is it moving house or divorce that causes most stress? ( I did both at once when I was 23, probably why I'm a bit odd now!)
    I'm a great believer in trying to go with the flow. So I think..... we decided to move ..... a buyer will come along...... we will find somewhere right for us as we hit the 60s..............we might have to move again later... Keep calm.
    I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and carry on rambling on the blog, writing things down helps sort things out - if that makes sense.
    15 years - pah! that' nothing, we've been here 23!

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  10. I love moving, once I left home the longest that I lived in a house was 10 years, that was the cottage in Tydd. Now I have been here for 18 months I can not see myself moving soon, but needs change. There is a bus stop right outside the house, there are 2 shops,2 cafe,s and a butchers close, but I may need to live on one level in the future and will face that when /if it arrives. Ramble on, keep looking at properties and be firm with the estate agents. I told one lot that if they sent me to a property that had issues I would expect them to pay for my time and petrol, they really stepped up to the mark and their suggested viewing list went down to 4 properties and I bought the first one that I saw.

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  11. We are on the verge of a very big change. I have worried a lot, mainly because it involves my young children and will change their lives too. However, what is life if one doesn't take any risks? Helen Keller said that "life is either a daring adventure, or nothing atall". I am glad it doesn't have to be too risky all the time, but for me at least, it is time for a bit of adventure. Best of luck, whatever you do. Don't forget, you only need ONE house, it is out there and suddenly you will find it. Pam

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  12. They say moving house is one of life's most stressful experiences so I guess it will never be an easy thing to do. I hope you find somewhere you will both be happy with x

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  13. we had most of our viewers who were totally unsuited to the house - it clearly didn't tick their boxes and was a waste of EVERYBODY's time.
    But we did sell. The lady said - a house had to feel right, and ours did.
    When I first saw this house, I said no. Long green tunnel, neglected garden overgrown and looming in the windows.
    And now it's home!

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  14. Take a deep breath. You have a lot on your mind just now. Moving house is stressful at the best of times. I'm sure you'll soon find somewhere just perfect for you both. I do find, however, that when you start looking at other properties you often wonder why you are bothering. Your own often seems the better option. X

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  15. I am sure you will find the right property for you all when the time is right, worrying about it all is not going to change anything. Take care.

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  16. You will know it's the right house once inside, until then, just keep an eye on the market and have drive around area you think you might like. Go at different time in the day to see how it is, some places can be quiet in the day and busy later.

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  17. moving is an Ordeal, even when everything glides smoothly -- so you're entirely justified in your anxiety/confusion.

    at times like these, i like to lean on the Wisdom of Fridge Magnets..."leap and the net shall appear" <--- might be the Buddha said that, but i found it on a fridge magnet.

    takes bucket-loads of faith....but it's always served me well.

    sending love. plus tea and chocolate as required. wine, if necessary. xoxo

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  18. I am sure that everything will be fine! If your house sells fast and you don't have somewhere you can see if the buyers are willing to delay completion - but make sure you exchange quick smart - or you could rent somewhere which would mean two moves, but you would only be buying and then selling not both together and you would be in a chain free position for buying which can be good. There are upsides to everything! As for the being super tidy, I know that I would be like you, and I also know that there are a lot of people who are not like that at all. I think that most people would prefer to view a house like yours! Whatever happens it will all be good!!! xx

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  19. Having both bought and sold houses, I find that the things that helped me sell my house were the same things that were being glossed over, or deliberately hidden, when I was looking to buy them. I hope that made sense. I wish you all the best with the sale and the whole process. I know how nerve-wracking it can be, but just think of how good it will feel when you're all settled into your new home and lifestyle.

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  20. I often wonder why estate agents cant tell the truth, they waste everyone's time, I have moved so many times that I have lost count, this last one really is the last one but then we were moving countries with lots of animals. Make a list of what to you would be deal breakers, busy road, immediate neighbours, house falling down, and make it clear to the agents that you are not interested in seeing anything that you would count as your deal breakers. Do they still drive you around to see properties or is it all down to you wasting your fuel?

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  21. You are bound to have doubts that is normal when you have been happy somewhere. The fact that you are interested in moving shows you are ready for a change I think, even if you are not sure what that is. Why not try looking at houses with less land but in great locations, jot some alternatives down or have a look at some new places to see if you like the area. Maybe the perfect house for you is out there but it doesn't fit your current description or the one you gave to the estate agent. Good luck. xx

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  22. Your guys are all so amazingly supportive thank you so much xx ...........and we have our first viewing on Monday eeeekkkkk!!

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  23. My heart goes out to you. I've been in the spot you are in, more than once, and it's extremely stressful. A small suggestion for keeping things tidy and being able to find them again after you've tidied up is to have a small plastic storage container to put stray items in. It can easily be tucked away if people come to look at your house, and your husband will know where to look if something comes up missing.

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  24. Good luck for Monday, if it's meant to be it will happen.

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  25. wishing you well on your new adventure, I'm sure you will find the perfect house. x

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  26. You ramble away my lovely! I know exactly what you mean having put my house on the market about three times and then taking it off after doubts. You are right about the honesty. The amount of times I've had to say "why have you left this out" and the wide angle photos, why do they do that? It only leads to disappointment when the potential buyer walks in. Just take each day as it comes. When the right person walks through the door it won't matter how tidy the house is, whether you have bread in the oven and the coffee filter bubbling away, it will just feel right to that person. Wishing you all the luck in the world with this test of emotions xx

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  27. hang in there it will be ok. if you don't find the perfect place you could always rent somewhere for a while to get a feel for the place. take care and take it easy on yourself. (oh and as for the tidying, it's impossible to keep it up isn't it, and one time some viewers came early and I had to just throw a tea towel over all the washing up in the sink..........)

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  28. I know what you mean about house particulars. I work in a sprawling Secondary School, and when the big house opposite was for sale, they took photos that made it look as if it was out in the middle of nowhere, photos from every angle that avoided the massive school opposite. Viewers must have had such a shock when they pulled up outside it for a viewing. Follow your gut when choosing your next house - it is never wrong...

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  29. How did the viewing go? Have you had any feedback from your agent? (I hope they turned up - it's not unknown for appointments to be broken.)

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  30. Hey Rambler, I actually ended up with three viewings, one has come back for a second look and the other is bringing his wife down from 'up country' to see the house. I also have another viewing booked for next week. I'm not going to get my hopes up though as until we have an offer it doesn't really mean anything. I'm looking at a property tomorrow which is completely different to what I was looking for but has an amazing view so worth a look. It is difficult to find the time to view when you are both working and have to be available for people to view our house!! I am a little stressed I have to admit :)

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    1. Oh it does sound hopeful though, what with second viewings and more to come. How was the property you looked at, the one with the amazing view? Got everything crossed here for you. xx

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    2. It had an amazing view but needed a lot of work and was beside a road that gets busy with commuter traffic taking a short cut (though the owners played it down) so in two minds about it. Three more viewings of our house this week, trying to fit them around work is pretty stressful!!

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    3. I never met the owners when I viewed properties; the estate agent handled all the viewings. Can't your agent do that job for you? (You pay him enough!) And you don't get to hear the comments that might upset you.

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  31. For what it's worth, I think your heart and your dreams (the sleeping sort) are where your answers lie.

    Fingers crossed for a smooth sale process and just the right house at the end of it all.

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  32. hope the house move/sale is going well. x

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  33. I will try to make this short.
    We lived by the ocean. My dream as I was raised in the desert.
    Husband walked out one morning while I dropped the children off at school.
    Left me a message on the answer machine. really nice ?
    Bought a perfect home for me small looked out over the ocean loved it. With the big housing bust in California and my divorce, either I could keep my home or keep the children, dogs and me in food.
    Sold the house and moved back to the desert. My home sold so fast I only had two weeks to find a new home and 3 weeks to move.
    But I knew the area I wanted to move two and picked a hous that I made a home. Bought my home no morage and my car no payment.
    Yes, I still miss my little home by the ocean but I have found a new quiet in the foothills of Tucson Arizona. Back to wear I grew up.

    Instead of the ocean I have all kinds of wildlife from mountain lions to roadrunners that visit my small grove of citrus trees.
    The home is nothing like I though I wanted (courtyard home with all rooms opening on to a garden) but I so love living quiet and surrounded by my wild land. I have a gardner who takes care of the land just around my home and soon will have to have a cleaner to help with the hose.
    Things change and life like playing tricks on plans. Do not panic I did this all on my on. Did I make some mistakes, sure did but in the big picture it all works outs.

    Good Luck
    cheers, parsnip

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    1. Oh My Goodness I made so many spelling mistakes !
      My brain is still not working.

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    2. Hey Parsnip, don't worry about the spelling mistakes. Sounds like you are better off without that waste of space! So glad you are happy where you are it sounds wonderful. What you say about making a house a home is so true, that is the important things, that it is a home, wherever that may be. x

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    3. You will survive, I know that !

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