Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Not Such a Tough Cookie

My enemy

Back in the 90's I worked in Disability Rights, I would help people fill out Disability Living Allowance forms, or if they came to us because they had been turned down I would go to the Tribunal with them to appeal.

I would first ask them to go through their day for me, from getting up in the morning to going to bed at night.  There were so many people in constant pain with no hope of it getting better.  I thought to myself, how do they live with it?  How do they get out of bed everyday knowing they would be in pain all day, and get up the next day and do it all again.  It was humbling.  The human spirit is incredible.

I didn't take the Tramadol yesterday as it was messing with my head   By 2 o'clock this morning I was crying with pain, and believe me I am a stubborn old cow who doesn't let a lot beat me, but I was beaten.  I took the Tramadol.

This morning I couldn't move with the pain.  To add to my distress there is a spider who has taken up residence on the ceiling light over the bed.  It was lowering itself down almost to the bed, then climbing up again.  It is taunting me.  I hate that spider.

I am waiting for a call from the doctor about pain relief.  I will be feeling better later, and there will be some smiley faces again.

Chickpea xx


  1. Ooh, Chickpea. I hope that something can be sorted and you start to feel better again. That really sounds grim.

  2. Oh my dear, I'm so sorry to read this. Sending you lots of healing positive thoughts and really hoping they get the right pain relief sorted for you. I use arnica a lot- it was the only thing that worked when I used to get paralytic migraines. Without it I'd be in bed for three or four days but with it I could get up the next morning. It might be worth trying in conjunction with painkillers? Hope your hubby can remove that spider- that would do me in too! xx

  3. Oh No, I thought you were on the mend, so sorry to hear you are one step back instead of forward.
    Sending lots of positive vibes from Suffolk

  4. So sorry to read all this. This might sound strange coming from someone who is not in pain (at the moment!) but try to breathe into the pain, accepting that it is there for the time being, and that it will shift and change all on its own. I have learned that leaning into pain and working with it, is better than resisting it. Is there a slightly lighter painkiller you could take - one that makes you more comfortable without messing with your head? I hope a good doctor will be able to help. Another question: is this normal post-op pain or is it a complication?
    Wishing you lots of love and healing xxx

  5. Hi all, I have spoken with the doctor and will now be taking alternative pain killers, I took them last year after my op without a problem so fingers crossed they will do the trick.

    Yes I think it is normal post op pain Isabelle, they had a lot to sort out. No signs of complications. I usually use breathing techniques for pain, but this just overwhelmed me.

    You have just reminded me that I have arnica somewhere CT, thanks.


  6. Oh you poor, poor soul. I feel so sorry that you've had so much unrelieved pain, chickpea. Let's hope the new medication kicks in soon. Meanwhile, I'm sending healing thoughts your way, big (gentle) hugs too x

  7. Oh, I totally get the overwhelmed bit, Chickpea. Pain can be so overwhelming that it takes us a while to be able to 'ride the wave' of it again. Keep us posted xxx

  8. Just when you thought uou were getting better too, lets hope it gets sorted quickly for you. I hate Tramadol and even worse Amatriptolyne ? They mess with my head too, awful feeling!

    Big hugs for you x

  9. I used to do similar work to you, and wondered how some people coped too. I hope that the doctor gets back to you very soon and that you get some better meds and that you can not have your head messed with and not have pain too. That really is horrible and I am so so sorry. Sending you massive - but not squeezy! - hugs. Get a spider eviction team in too, he has to go, not fair to tease you like that!!! Keep taking care. xx

  10. Tramadol doesn't touch me and I'm opiate tolerant. Amitryptaline has been a nightmare to come off but didn't really do anything for the pain until I was on such a high dose it piled the weight on.

    I'm sorry your suffering so much....gentle hugs x

  11. Tramadol made me vomit and amytriptaline turned me into a zombie. At my worst I had pethedine but tried hard to stick with co-codamol. I had to take some at 4.00 this morning, then slept till Ben woke me around 9.

  12. Oh Chickpea, I hope you got your new medication and that the pain is more bearable now. Thinking of you. Cx


I love reading your comments and will try to reply to all you lovely people xx Spam will be deleted so don't even bother!